Successful Co-Parenting: How to Raise Happy, Healthy Kids with Your Ex
Divorced with kids, but still playing the "who's-right, who's-wrong"
game? Are your attempts to co-parent plagued by leftover anger and
unsettled arguments from the past? If you're angry, confused, or just
wondering how in the world you will ever be able to share the
responsibility of raising your kids with your Ex, then read on.
Five Steps to Co-parenting for Happy, Healthy Kids
Here are five simple steps you can follow to cultivate a co-parenting
relationship that will help you, your children, and your Ex-Spouse to
flourish - even after divorce. While the steps are simple, using them
successfully still requires both commitment and follow-through. But
anything worth doing is worth doing well. And isn't having happy,
healthy kids worth it to you?
Step One: Clarify Your Intention
Are you clear about your co-parenting intentions? But first, do you know
the difference between an intention and a strategy? Knowing this
difference is essential.
Your intention can be described as your values expressed as a vision for
a particular situation in an area of your life. Your strategies are
specific plans or results that will give you what you value.
If you don't understand this, you'll tend to get stuck on whether or not
other people agree with your strategies. This can leave people feeling
defensive and closed-minded. Even worse, being attached to a particular
strategy dramatically limits your opportunities to be satisfied.
One strategy = One opportunity
You might have adopted the strategy to hold a family meeting every week
that everyone must attend. But what is your intention that had you pick
this strategy? You intention may have been to create a peaceful,
supportive atmosphere for your kids to grow up in.
But there are many strategies for creating this intention. And when
you're clear about the intention, it remains possible even if your
specific strategy fails.